Veggies Can Be Bad For You
by punky326
Summary: We all know Naruto always had a great dislike for vegetables, so when a silent terror overtakes the village, the villagers can't help but wonder that maybe the kid was onto something. My first fanfic. R&R Chapter 6 up!
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Hi guys! I had this really weird dream last night. It was so funny that I decided I had to turn it into a story. Btw, this is my first fic so if it sucks don't be too hard on me. Well here we go!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto. If I did, I would finally have enough money to buy me a Gibson Les Paul.

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**Chapter 1: Prologue**

It was a calm, cool night. The air was crisp and clear. Suddenly, the peaceful silence was broken as a giant clay bird swooped through the sky.

"Oi, Deidara-san," said a certain shark-like ninja to his comrade. "I think we passed the stop."

"Hush, Kisame. I know where I'm going, hm." The blonde haired ninja replied with assurance.

"_We should have reached the radioactive waste dump at least an hour ago. That's why I hate flying with Deidara. He has no sense of direction..." _Kisame thought to himself.

"Whatever. I'm going to take a nap, okay? He said out loud.

"Do what you want, hm." Deidara responded, agitated.

A half-hour later, Deidara finally called out "We're here, hm!", much to the dismay of Kisame.

He was just having a nice dream where the Mist Village was in flames and all the surviving people were ordered to listen to him. It was the best dream he ever had. Too bad, he couldn't sleep long enough to enjoy it.

"Aww man", he moaned. He felt like killing Deidara right now. He then remembered he left Samehada, his sword, back at the cave. Darn.

"See?" Deidara asked, pointing.

Because it was night, it was kind of hard to see, but Kisame was still able to make out the sign: Konoha Vegetable Patch! Konoha's main source of yummy veggies!

"You baka! It's a vegetable patch, not the Waste Dump!" the blue faced nin shouted angrily.

"Ooh. My bad!" said a slightly embarrassed Deidara. "Oh well. Same difference. Let's just get rid of the stuff before we get cancer or something, hm."

Kisame was worn out so he tiredly agreed. "Sure, whatever. I never liked Konoha anyway."

And with that the two Akatsuki members released their cargo: 150 pounds of glowing, clear, radioactive sludge. Once it landed, the ground quickly absorbed the waste and the field soon looked as though nothing had ever happened.

"You know, Deidara-san, we really should tell the guys to cool it with all the jinchuuriki experiments. It's the second time this week that we've had to get rid of toxic waste in some form or another. It's really starting to get on my nerves. I need my beauty sleep!"

"Yeah well, it's only 2:00 AM so I guess we've still got a few hours left to sleep, hm. Let's go!"

"Yokai." Kisame answered.

The two missing nins then soared into the sky, leaving as quickly as they had come. Once the clay bird was nowhere in sight, the night returned to it's peaceful state. Suddenly, the ground of the vegetable patch momentarily glowed before returning to its original appearance.

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**A/N:** Oh no! Those damn Akatsukis! What will be the result of the mutated veggies? Plus, what will happen to Konoha? I guess you'll just have to wait till next time to find out! Sucks, huh? Till then, review! 


	2. Kakashi, are you okay?

**A/N:** Hi again! Okay I know my first chapter wasn't very good and it was also really short, but in this chapter, things start to get interesting. Seriously! Btw, in this story, the genins are still 12-13, Sasuke hadn't left the village yet, and Tsunade had just recently become Hokage.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. Lucky him.

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**Chapter 2: Kakashi-sensei, are you okay?**

A month had passed since the "Konoha Patch" incident, and the village was as lively as ever. There was a surplus of veggies as a result of the last sowing season, and everywhere you looked, there was a sale on vegetables. At K-Mart, (a/n: It means Konoha Mart XD) you could get 20 tomatoes for only $1.50 (a/n: Gomen, I don't know US money in yen). At the Green Ninja, you could get 4lbs of radishes for the price of one! With great deals like those it's no wonder that the two stores sold out their entire grocery supply in less than two hours. On the other side of the village, however, there was a young boy who either didn't know about the vegetable increase, or even want to know. He just wanted his ramen.

"Itadakimasu!" he replied, eager to devour his breakfast.

Unfortunately, just as he was about to dive into the ramen, a silver-haired jounin landed on his windowsill.

"Ohayo, Naruto!"

"Kakashi-sensei? What are you doing here?"

"Well there was a sale on lettuce at the Green Ninja so I just decided to make one of my favorite students my homade garden salad!" Kakashi replied. He then handed a bento box to Naruto.

"Hey, wait a sec! I thought Sasuke was your favorite!"

"Now what makes you think that?"

"You taught him chidori without either me or Sakura-chan knowing!"

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Hehe, oh right. I guess I forgot about that...Well, enjoy the salad!"

"Bah, I hate vegetables!" Naruto said with disgust.

The jounin sighed, "I thought you got over that."

"Nope!"

"Well, can I at least ask why you hate them?" he asked. "I mean, they're good for you and they're also an essential part of every ninja's daily diet!"

"...Maybe, but they taste gross...and you sound like that commercial!" Naruto answered.

"Well, fine. If you don't want it then I guess I'll eat it."

With that last statement, Kakashi took a seat across from Naruto and opened the lid of the bento box.

"Itadakimasu." he said to no one in particular.

**Naruto P.O.V**

Wow. Kakashi-sensei sure is weird. He just comes in here all of a sudden, giving me that yucky green stuff and then decides to eat it right in front of me.

Wait. Now's my chance! I can finally see what's under that mask! And before Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme! Yes! This is gonna be so cool!

**Normal P.O.V**

Naruto closed his eyes at the thought of finally being able to see his sensei's long-hidden face. It was only for a moment,  
but by the time he opened his eyes to uncover the long-awaited mystery, Kakashi had already finished eating.

"NANII! K-KAKASHI-SENSEI! JUST NOW - WHEN DID YOU...EHHH!" The blonde-haired boy was at a loss for words.

He mentally kicked himself. _"I was SO close. So close to finally seeing his face! Kutsu! It's not fair!"_... Sigh...  
_"Well, at least I can still look forward to my ra - oh no! It's cold! Kutsu!"_

Kakashi was just about to calm his hyperactive student down when a strange feeling suddenly came over him. He grabbed his throat and fell to the ground. Shocked, Naruto immediately ran to his side.

"Oi! Kakashi-sensei! Are you all right? What's wrong?"

Kakashi couldn't explain it. It was like his throat was on fire, and the burning sensation was starting to spread throughout his entire body.  
He also felt a sudden urge for, vegetables? _"The hell?"_ He thought, as he continued to moan in pain.

"Kakashi-sensei? What happened? What's the - OMGWTFBBQ!" Naruto yelled out in surprise. He backed away as he saw what was happening to his sensei.

Kakashi's hair had slowly started turning a pale green. Not only that, but his entire body had begun to take on a greenish hue as well. During that time, he had temporarily lost consciousness. When the transformation was complete, Naruto carefully walked over to his sensei. It was then that Kakashi regained consciousness. An awkward silence then enveloped the air when suddenly...

"Need veggies!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Whaa?" Naruto asked, obviously confused.

"I need vegetables!" Kakashi stated more clearly.

He then ran over to Naruto's fridge, desperate to find anything that resembled a vegetable, but all he found was a moldy piece of celery. Oh well, good enough for him.

"Celery!" he yelled in triumph as he shoved the expired food down his throat.

_"Okay this is really weird. What the heck happened to him? Why is he suddenly crazy over vegetables? Most importantly, why is he all green?"_ Naruto desperately tried to find some logical explanation for his sensei's suddenly strange behavior, but to no avail.

_"I know! I'll ask Sakura-chan! She's smart. She'll probably know what's wrong with him!"_ He thought to himself. But first he had to get away from Kakashi.

"Erm, I'm gonna go train with the guys now. Meet you there! Bye!" the hyperactive ninja called out to Kakashi, who was currently busy eating an uncooked package of red beans that he had found in the pantry.

A freaked out Naruto then headed out the door, eager to tell his teammates of the shocking event that he had just witnessed. Sure, like they'd even believe him.

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**A/N:** Well that was the second chapter. Yeah, I know. It was short. Well, who knows? Maybe the next chapter will be longer, but only if you guys review. No reviews, no long chapter. Got it? Good. 


	3. Breakfast At The Hyuuga's

**A/N:** Wow guys! Thanx for the reviews! Well you held up your part of the deal, so now I'm holding up mine. I now present to you, the longest chapter in this story so far, Chapter 3! W00t!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, but I do own this crazy plot. Take that Kishimoto!

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**Chapter 3: Breakfast At The Hyuuga's**

Meanwhile, at the Hyuuga compound, Hiashi, Hinata, Hanabi, and Neji were just about to settle down for a late breakfast. Neji didn't really want to join them, but he was forced to do so by Hiashi.

**Flashback**

It was the week before, and Neji had just finished a training session with his uncle. Gai had given his team the day off and Neji was training with his uncle to make up for lost time. As he was just about to leave, however, Hiashi called him over to sit with him. Neji didn't want to talk at the moment, but he knew his uncle wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, so he obediently sat down.

"Listen, Neji. I know you've been harboring a lot of anger towards the main family for quite some time now. However, I've also noticed that after the match with you and Naruto-kun, you've begun to change." Hiashi said, contemplating his nephew's behavior.

"How so, Hiashi-sama?" Neji asked suspiciously.

"Well you're not as depressed as you once were and you're no longer very cold-hearted towards Hinata. Yet, despite all that, I can still see you haven't let go of your grudge. At least not completely."

Neji wasn't sure where this was going, but he had a feeling he wouldn't like it.

"Therefore, I've decided that starting next week, you are to spend more time with me and the girls. It would definitely be good for you. Plus, all that bonding would help with that antisocial personality of yours."

"Hai. Whatever you say, Hiashi-sama."

On the outside, Neji was as cool as an ice cube. After all, he's Neji. On the inside, however, it was a completely different story.

_"No way! He wants me to spend extra time with Hinata and Hanabi? Is he insane? I already have to put up with them during the day. Isn't that enough? Fate, you must really hate me. Wasn't killing my father enough for you? Why do you torture me so."_ Inner Neji starts crying

On the outside, Neji leaves the Hyuuga main family compound without another word.

As he reached the branch family compound, he thought to himself. _"This definitely isn't going to be easy."_

**End of Flashback**

So there he was sitting with the people he considered his enemies. Poor Neji. He decided to look on the bright side of things. Surprisingly, he'd been doing that a lot lately.

_"Well, this isn't so bad. At least Hinata cooked this time. Last time I had a taste of Hiashi's cooking I had the runs for a week."_ Neji shuddered at the thought of repeatedly having to run to the bathroom. He then felt a slight ache in his stomach. _"Speaking of the bathroom..."_

"Excuse me, but is it all right if I use the restroom?" He asked politely.

Hiashi thought about it for a moment. "You're not going to try to escape, are you?" he asked the teen.

"Of course not."

"Fine. You may go, but return quickly."

Neji excused himself and promptly mumbled "arigatou" before leaving.

"Neji-niisan is so weird. Why is he over here again?" inquired Hanabi.

"A-ano, l-let's eat our b-breakfast before i-it gets c-cold." Hinata suggested. She had worked really hard to prepare the omelets that now sat before them, not to mention woken up extra early to buy her secret ingredient, Konoha's finest leeks. They had a huge sale for them at K-mart (the K stands for Konoha), and she was lucky enough to get a few stalks before they had run out.

"He's over here because it's about time we got to know him better, and him us." he answered his favorite daughter, completely ignoring Hinata.

He then noticed that Hinata had started eating before them. "Well, we should eat now." he said, picking up his chopsticks.

"Wakatta!" Hanabi said, digging in.

_"Sigh. What did I ever do for father to hate me so much?"_ Hinata thought sadly as she continued eating her meal. As she was eating, she suddenly felt very strange.

"AUUGH!" she screamed in pain as she collapsed on the floor. She grabbed her neck and rolled around on the floor. _"What's happening to me..."_ she wondered before everything went black.

"HINATA!" For the first time in his life, Hiashi felt a sense of concern for his eldest daughter and ran to help her. Unfortunately, he too fell to the ground unconscious before reaching her. The only difference for him was that he never felt the overwhelming pain that Kakashi and Hinata had experienced before him.

Next, it was Hanabi's turn to act surprised. "Neechan! Otousan! She ran to their side and reached them, just before she too started to feel an unfamiliar burning in her throat. She then felt very dizzy as she fell to the floor with a loud thud. She was out cold.

"Sorry it took so long for me to get back." Neji apologized, finally returning from his, um break. "You ran out of toilet paper so I had to-HOLY CRAP!"

Neji's eyes became two white saucers, anime-style. Apparently shocked, he stared at his relatives eating in front of him. First of all, they seemed to have forgotten their table manners as they quickly gulped their eggy breakfast down. Second, they looked considerably different. They all had dark green hair, light green skin, and even light green eyes. Finally, the weirdest thing Neji noticed about them was that they were all smiling mischievously at him.

"Ah Neji, so you've returned." Hiashi said deviously. "Come, eat your omelet. It's getting cold you know."

The now green Hinata smirked while Hanabi stifled a giggle.

_"What the heck happened while I was gone? Why have they turned green?"_ Neji wondered. He looked down at the plates that were now empty, all except for his.

_"I wonder if it had something to do with those omelets..."_

While Neji was lost in thought, Hanabi tried to persuade him. "C'mon Neji-niisan, finish your omelet. It's good! You know you want to."

"Um, come to think of it I'm not very hungry anymore." Neji said as he started to back away towards the door.

_"That damn genius, he's unto us."_ Hiashi realized. _"Note to self: buy more carrots. Lots and lots of carrots, and maybe some lettuce while I'm at it."_ He then drooled at the thought of the veggies.

Neji noticed his uncle's strange behavior and immediately ran out the door.

"G-GET HIM!" yelled Hinata.

"No need to run, I'll just use the cursed seal to our advantage." Hiashi replied calmly, making the infamous sign.

As Neji was running, his head suddenly felt like it was about to explode. He grabbed his head in pain, but continued to run. After awhile, he felt the agonizing pain in his head start to fade as he ran out of the complex, and Hiashi's reach.

"Dammit, I lost him." Hiashi replied in defeat.

After much thought, Hanabi had a suggestion. "I know, let's split up!"

"Hmm, it's cliché, but it's a good idea." Hiashi approved.

"W-well then w-what are we w-waiting f-for? Let's g-go!" replied Hinata.

The three main members then split up to search for their favorite relative.

Now a good distance away from his now crazy uncle and cousins, Neji felt safe. "Yes, I beat the cursed seal without dying! Take that fate!" he said to himself as he continued to run. Although Neji knew that now was not the time to celebrate, he couldn't help but feel good inside.

_"Something's going on here...and I'm definitely going to get to the bottom of it."_ he secretly promised himself. He then ran to the training ground to meet up with his teammates. So much for quality time.

**Now back to Naruto. Don't worry, I didn't forget him.**

Sasuke and Sakura had been waiting at the bridge for over two hours now. Sakura was running out of patience, and Sasuke was bored out of his mind.

"Taka, I wonder what Kakashi-sensei's story will be this time." Sakura mumbled as her head slumped forward. **"Shannaro! Kakashi-sensei better have a good excuse or he's not living to see tomorrow!" Inner Sakura threatened.**

"Hn." wondered Sasuke.

Just then they saw a spot of orange far off in the distance that seemed to be coming towards them. The spot was still kind of far away, yet it had an ear-shattering voice that could be heard from miles away.

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!" Naruto yelled as he screeched to a halt in front of the pink haired kunoichi.

"it's about time you showed up. Where the heck have you been?" Sakura asked.

"Somethingwrong. Kakashi-senseiatesaladturnedgreen!" Naruto was speaking so fast that his words became incomprehensible.

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down, Naruto. Now what happened to Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked a little kinder this time.

Naruto then told his teammates the story of what had happened to their sensei and why he had come so late. By the time Naruto was finished speaking he was so tired out that he could barely stand.

Sasuke smirked. "You dobe. Like we're really supposed to believe that."

"But it's true, dattebayo!" Naruto insisted.

"Sorry Naruto, but I have to agree with Sasuke-kun on this. There's just no way that's possible." Sakura replied in a know-it-all fashion.

Now, Naruto had never been considered smart, but right now he had to at least act like it if he wanted to get his questions answered.

Naruto crossed his fingers. _"I hope this works."_

"Fine. Then let's just say, hypothetically speaking, that somehow, the story was true. Could you then at least tell me what caused the change in Kakashi-sensei?"

Sakura was speechless. _"He sounds so smart..."_

"Dobe, do you even know what hypothetical means?"

In all honesty Naruto didn't know. He had heard it being used by Iruka-sensei. _"C'mon Naruto think...think."_

"Answer my question first!" Naruto commanded. _"Good one." _

"You baka. It would obviously have been something in the salad." Sakura sighed. She couldn't believe that for a moment she actually thought he was smart.

Sasuke stared out at the rushing water below the bridge. _"Hn, it's almost lunchtime. God, I'm hungry."_ He then pulled out a juicy red tomato from his pocket. _"Time to eat."_

"Look Naruto, the only thing that isn't right is your head. Now let's try this again. Where is Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura inquired yet again.

"I already told you and I'm not gonna say it again. Look if you and Sasuke-teme don't wanna believe me then fine! Just don't come crying to me when you're all green and obsessed with yucky vegetables." Naruto sighed. He felt hopeless. _"They don't believe me."_ he thought sadly.

They then heard a munching sound and turned around to find Sasuke taking a few bites out of a tomato.

"What?" he asked as he saw the horrified expression on Naruto's face.

"Sakura-chan..If I were you..I'd run." Naruto spoke carefully as he started to back away.

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**Side note:**

In case you guys haven't noticed, I've been using a few common Japanese words in the story so far that some people may not have understood. I'm currently studying Japanese so I kind of add them in without really noticing, but I guess that really isn't fair for you guys. That's why I will now list them and their meanings. If I missed any, just tell me.

Yokai - roger  
Ohayo - good morning  
Nani - what  
Hai - yes, okay  
Arigatou - thank you  
Niisan - older brother  
Wakatta - understood, got it  
Ano - that, um  
Neechan - older sister  
Otousan - father  
Taka - geez  
Dattebayo - childish emphasis statement  
used to convince others of something,  
but is most often used by Naruto.  
Dobe - blockhead, moron  
Abayo - see ya, goodbye  
Minna - everyone

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**A/N:** So did you like it? Yes I know tomatoes aren't vegetables, but they are grown with them, which means Sasuke's in trouble. Oh yeah, another note. From this point on, the story will be slightly more horror than humor so I'll be switching the genres around to horror/humor. I might even up the rating to T , but I'm not sure yet. Well, till next time, review. If you review, I'll have a really long chapter for you. If you don't then the next chapter's going to be shorter than short bread XD Well what are you waiting for? Review! Plus, don't flame. It's not nice and if you do flame I'll have a "special" comment for you in my next chapter. Muahahahah! Abayo, minna! 


	4. This Isn't Happening!

**A/N:** Sorry I couldn't update as fast as before. My cousin spent a week with me and my family and he totally hogged the computer. Plus, while my comp was temporarily stolen from me, I daydreamed more ideas for the upcoming chapters. Well anyways thanks for the reviews! Especially you, midnight waltz! You kept reviewing my story, even though I didn't think anyone else would. That's why this chapter's for you. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto...but I do own a Naruto headband.

**Chapter 4: This Isn't Happening!**

"Oh my god, Naruto! What's the matter with you? It's just a stupid tomato!" Sakura shouted, obviously annoyed.

No sooner than she had spoken, Sasuke let out a terrible yell.

"Nooo! W-what is this...this chill? Augh!" He then dropped to the ground, motionless.

"Sasuke-kun! Nooo!" Sakura ran to his side.

"Told ya." Naruto said nonchalantly, that is until he realized what she was doing. "Hey wait, d-don't go near him!"

Too late. Sakura had now started to pick up Sasuke, who had now almost turned completely green. "Sasuke-kun! Are you okay? Does it hurt?

Answer me, Sasuke-kun!"

At that moment, Sasuke's eyes fluttered open. He then looked up to see a teary-eyed Sakura holding him.

"Ugh, get off me." he said in disgust, while picking himself up. Once he finally got to his feet, he suddenly did the strangest thing. He started to laugh. At first it started out as a simple "he he", but it soon developed into full-blown, maniacal laughter.

Naruto hadn't stuck around his home long enough to find out how Kakashi would act towards him, but he had a bad feeling he was about to find out.

"Um, Sasuke-kun, are you feeling okay?" Sakura asked with concern.

Sasuke finally stopped laughing. "I've never felt better." He then took out the other tomato he had been saving and stared at it fondly. _"It's so red..."_ he thought, before shoving it in his mouth.

Naruto, now thoroughly disturbed, decided to talk with his teammate. "Oi Sasuke, h-how m-many of those did you take with you?"

"Not many, just four." They Uchiha said while chewing his food. An evil smile formed on his face "Why, you want one?"

"N-No thanks." Naruto said as he he continued to back away.

Sasuke pulled out yet another tomato. "C'mon, it's healthy, and good for you."

By this time, Naruto had backed up to the beginning of the bridge. "I said no, teme! What part of 'no' don't you understand?" he called out.

Sasuke glared at him before walking over to Sakura. "Then what about you, " Sasuke said smiling innocently "Sakura-chan"?

Sakura stood frozen in place. Not just because her beloved Sasuke was now green, but also because he had finally noticed her. It was a dream come true. "Sure, Sas-"

"Sakura-chan, don't! He doesn't mean it!" interrupted Naruto. He had finally stopped backing away.

"Hn." replied Sasuke as he grabbed Sakura and while she was stunned, immediately shoved the tomato in her mouth. He then threw the now choking Sakura onto the ground.

"No! Sakura-chan spit it out!" Naruto called to her.

Sasuke smirked in triumph. "It's too late, Dobe. She already swallowed some. See?" he said pointing at Sakura who was now lying on the bridge, unconscious.

Naruto sadly stared at his two comrades, the maniacal Sasuke and the pale green Sakura.

_"Oh man. What should I do, what should I do? Kutsu!"_ He had never been in a situation like this before, much less been taught how to deal with this sort of situation, so he decided to go with the first idea that came to him. He started to run.

_"I want to save Sakura-chan, but I know it's already too late for her. Soon, she'll be just like Sasuke. I've got to warn the other genin before this thing takes over all of us."_ Just then, Naruto's stomach growled. _"Oh right, I didn't have anything to eat yet._ "He thought, holding his stomach._ "Well, I'll just have a quick lunch at Ichiraku Ramen and then I'll go warn the others."_ He then headed towards his favorite restaurant.

**Poor Naruto. Well, let's go see what Neji's up to: **

He couldn't believe it. _"What the hell is going on around here?"_ Neji thought as he slumped his head forward, looking more sullen than usual. He was just getting back from the training field where his sensei and teammates were currently sparring. He had just discovered that his teammates had met the same fate as his cousins and uncle. In fact, he was just lucky enough to get away before they could even notice he was there. _"I'd better go see the Hokage and see what's going on."_ Lost in thought, the Hyuuga prodigy didn't notice the blonde haired boy running straight for him.

_"Oi Neji, Look out!"_

"Huh?" Neji snapped his head back up, but it was too late.

BAM! (a/n: I always wanted to say that)

Naruto's forehead protector met Neji's with a loud clink and the two young ninjas took a very hard fall to the ground.

Naruto held his head as he howled in pain. "Itai! What are you deaf? Didn't you hear me calling you?" he called out to Neji, who was now flat on his back on the opposite side of the road.

"You, baka. Why don't you look where you're going?" he shot back. "Look, I don't have time to play with you right now. I have to see Tsunade-sama," he said, as he got up and dusted himself off.

After the pain had subsided in Naruto's head, all the things that happened to him that morning suddenly flooded back to him. "Neji, before you go, I have to tell you something."

Neji sighed.

"Let me guess. Something's causing everyone to turn into green, maniacal freaks and you have no idea what it is, but you decided to warn me about it anyway." he responded apathetically.

"No it's-oh wait, yeah. How'd you know that?"

"It happened to Hiashi, Hinata, and Hanabi. Not to mention my entire team. So what about you?"

"It happened to my team too. I tried to warn them, but they wouldn't believe me." Naruto replied, still pretty shaken about the whole ordeal.

Neji stuffed his hands in his pockets. "So what do you think it is? All I know is that you have to eat something for it to change you, but I'm not sure what.

"It's the vegetables." said Naruto.

"Vegetables, huh?" Neji said, now folding his arms as if re-thinking the matter. "Why do you say that?"

"Because Kakashi-sensei turned green after eating a salad he made and Sasuke turned green after eating a tomato, right before forcing Sakura to eat one."

Neji thought to himself. _"Hmm, that would definitely explain the cause of what happened to Hiashi and them. After all, omelets do contain vegetables."_

"Sou da." he replied nonchalantly.

"Oi, how can you be so calm at a time like this?" Naruto questioned with a hint of anger.

Neji just shrugged and started to walk off.

"Hey, wait."

Neji sighed. "Now what?"

"Wanna come with me to the ramen place? I don't feel safe by myself anymore."

Neji thought about it for a while. _"Sigh, I guess the hokage can wait. Heh, he's such a baby. Besides, I'm hungry."_

"Fine, whatever."

"Yoshi!" Naruto said with a grin, and off they went to go fill their stomachs.

**Meanwhile, back on the bridge:**

Sakura had recently regained her consciousness as now sitting on the bridge with Sasuke.

"So what do you think happened to us?" she asked him, although she didn't seem very serious about it.

Sasuke merely chuckled. "I'm not sure, but whatever it is, I feel invincible."

Sakura nodded her head in agreement. Yeah, Sasuke-kun. I feel a lot stronger, and it's like my sense of fear is completely gone. I also have a strange craving for anything containing chlorophyll." She said smiling to herself. "Not to mention that...other feeling."

"You mean that intense ruthlessness and love for total chaos? Oh yeah." Sasuke answered grinning.

"So it happened to you too, huh?" Kakashi was just getting back from practically raiding Naruto's apartment. "In that case, here." He said tossing them a bag of fresh carrots.

"Hey, sensei. Why do you think we like veggies so much all of a sudden?" Sakura asked while stuffing a carrot in her mouth."

Kakashi shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I think it makes us stronger."

"Stronger you say?" a voice nearby questioned.

Team 7 looked up to see Hinata walking towards them.

Sasuke smiled. "Hn. I guess we weren't the only ones."

"Wait, you didn't stutter!" Sakura said pointing at Hinata.

Hinata smirked. "Well at first I did, but it soon went away. So what was it that you were saying, Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi continued. "Oh right. As I was saying, it makes us stronger. See, on my way here I decided to test my newfound strength by kicking a tree.

At first I made a large dent in the bark, but after eating a carrot I suddenly found out that I was able to break the tree, simply by punching it."

"Sugoi!" The three green genin cried in unison.

Suddenly, a light bulb lit up in Sasuke's mind. "Hey, I have an idea."

"What is it Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked eagerly. "Is it a new way to obtain vegetables?"

Sasuke smirked for the third time (a/n: they do that a lot, don't they?). "No, try the complete conversion of Konoha."

Sakura nodded. "It could work, but there's just one problem."

Sasuke closed his eyes and folded his arms. "You're right. The dobe."

"Sasuke-san, his name's Naruto." Hinata said annoyed. "Besides, he's not the only problem. Neji-niisan found out too.

My family and I tried to change him, but it didn't work."

Kakashi sighed. "Then I guess we'll just have to act quickly. Now let's see, we'll need a plan. Is there someone we know who is naturally

skilled at lateral thinking and can think up complex strategies in a matter of minutes?"

Hinata was the first to speak up, "Shikamaru, of course."

Sasuke was second. "Well yeah, but how do we get him?"

All three ninjas thought about it for a moment. This time it was Sakura's turn to speak.

"I've got it!"

She then motioned for everyone to huddle together and told them her plan.

Sasuke grinned. "You know, I think this might work after all."

Hinata agreed. "You got that right."

"I always knew you were the smart one." Kakashi complimented. "Well then, let's go."

They then split up to find the lazy genius so that they could put their plan into action.

**Now back to Naruto and Neji:**

"Closed! What's the deal, old man?" Naruto asked in frustration.

Teuchi sighed. "Sorry Naruto, but something strange happened. His teammates." He said pointing at Neji. "They came by for an early lunch break, but collapsed while eating my ramen. "I ran inside to call the medics, but when I came back, they were gone. The medics said I was losing it and advised me to get some bed rest. I'm starting to think so too..."

"No, you're not losing it. It happened to me and Neji too." Naruto said defiantly.

"Tell me. Do you use any vegetables in your ramen?" asked Neji.

Teuchi thought about it. "Hmm, just green onions and bean sprouts. Why'd you ask?"

"It's a long story. Look, whatever you do, don't eat the ramen, or any vegetables for that matter." Neji ordered.

"Hey wait. Where's Ayame-chan?" Naruto asked.

Just then, as if on cue, Ayame popped in. "Hey dad. Hi guys."

"See, Ayame? Naruto and his friend says that I'm not going crazy and that they witnessed the same thing I did." Teuchi told his daughter.

"Whoa, for real? She asked shocked. "I thought it was just the steam from all that ramen going to his head."

"Yeah, it's all true." Naruto reassured. "Well, me and Neji have to go now to see Granny Tsunade. Ja."

"Ja", said Neji, before taking off with Naruto

"Okay. Thanks for the heads up, boys." Teuchi said waving to the two young men, who were already on their way.

"Yoshi! Now it's off to see Granny Tsunade!" Naruto said, pumping his fist into the air.

Neji closed his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just hope we make it to her in time."

"Whaddaya mean by that?" Naruto asked.

"I think we have company. Turn around."

Naruto looked over his shoulder.

"Kutsu!"

* * *

**Vocab:** Try to spot them in the story! Lol, just kidding. 

Oi: Hey  
Kutsu: damn it  
Itai: ow, ouch  
Baka: idiot  
Sou da: I see, that's it  
Sugoi: awesome, amazing  
Ja: see ya, later  
Yoshi: Yes, All right!

* * *

**A/N:** Well, yeah. It's a pretty crazy chapter. I would've made it longer, but I'm saving the good stuff for later on. Like da cliffy? I know, I hate em too XD Now REVIEW REVIEW! Or else there'll be no more chapters. Muahahahah! 


	5. You Think She'll Believe Us?

**A/N:** Hey guys. Wow, you must really hate me right now. Well, I've got some bad news. Due to the constantly recurring Internet abductions, you know teens getting kidnapped after going on chat rooms and stuff, my parents decidedto give me a 2-hour time limit. Because of this, I will know only be able to upload 1 chapter per month. Yeah, it sucks doesn't it? As for my absence from fanfiction, well I have homework and projects now so I don't really have as much time to type any chapters, but I'll still try to get them out when I can. So, uh, yeah. I'll just get on with the story. Sorry it took so long.

Reply to Flametongue: You're right. It is _taku_. My bad. (It was 2:30 AM and I hadn't done much proofreading on that chapter. What can I say?) As for "kutsu" that one kind of comes down to personal preference, at least that's what I think. I've read the raw manga a few times and I've come across both _kutsu_ and _kuso_ in hiragana so I'm not really sure which one is used more often, but if it makes you happy, I'll keep it as _kuso_ from now on to prevent any further confusion.

**Disclaimer:** I own a computer, I own a skateboard, I even own a mechanical pencil, but sadly, Naruto I do not.

* * *

**Chapter 5: You Think She'll Believe Us?**

There standing behind Naruto and Neji were one of the few people the two young ninja never wanted to bump into. Neji turned around.

"So we meet again, Hiashi-sama." He said rather calmly, but with a slight waiver in his voice. The head of the Hyuuga main branch simply grinned as he stepped closer towards his talented nephew and the former Konoha failure.

"Long time no see, Naruto. I still can't believe you defeated young Neji over here." He said continuing to grin.

"Oi, what do you want? We're kinda busy right now." The blonde-haired ninja replied with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Are you hungry? I brought some yummy Taiyaki", Hiashi asked, pulling out two fish-shaped pastries.

"No thanks. We're on our way to the hokage." Naruto said, backing away. He really didn't want set Hiashi off, now that he was like...this.

"Sorry, Naruto-kun. You gave the wrong answer. Now prepare to die!" Hiashi replied. He then whipped out two shuriken from behind him, and threw them straight at Naruto.

"NANI?" Naruto dodged the two blades in time. "Are you INSANE?"

Chuckling, Hiashi raced toward Naruto. The young ninjas pulled out their kunai in defense. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a green-haired kunoichi stopped Hiashi.

"Hi-Hinata?" Naruto cried in disbelief. Hinata quickly whispered something in her father's ear, winked at Naruto, and then took off. Hiashi sighing placed the Taiyaki pastries back into his kimono. He then followed suit with his daughter, leaving the two boys alone and confused.

Naruto was stunned. "Wh-what the hell just happened here, and did Hinata just wink at me?"

Neji returned his kunai to its pouch. "It seems like they're planning something. We'd better hurry to the Hokage before it's too late."

"Hinata just winked at me..." Naruto replied, still dazed.

The Hyuuga sighed. "Just c'mon," he said pulling Naruto towards the Hokage's tower.

Once inside the Hokage's tower, Naruto, finally snapping out of it, knocked on the door. It soon opened up to reveal a young woman holding a pig.

"Naruto-kun? What brings you here?" Shizune asked.

"I need to see Granny Tsunade! It's an emergency!" The blue-eyed Nin shouted, running into the room.

"Neji-kun? You too?" She asked.

Neji sighed. "Yeah, I'm with him."

"So where is she, huh? Huh?" Naruto asked excitedly. Shizune passing him handed out a note to Neji.

"She left this on her desk early this morning."

Naruto stopped moving around long enough to look over Neji's shoulder.

_"Being the Hokage can be very tiring at times which is why I've decided to take a break. Nothing big though, I'm just going to check out some bathhouses and gambling spots. Be back in two days. I'll bring you back some sake, but you know me so don't be surprised if the bottle's half empty!"_

_-Tsunade_

_P.S: If Naruto starts to bug you, just get one of the guards to throw him out. Mata ne._

"Hey!" Naruto shouted as he read the last part.

"I'm so sorry, you guys. Tsunade-sama can tend to be a bit irresponsible sometimes. You should see how long it takes her to get through paperwork. Right, Ton-ton?"

"Poi, Poi!" Ton-Ton oinked in agreement.

"Two days, huh" Neji said to himself.

"Oh man. Now what are we gonna do?" Naruto started running around the Hokage's office. "We don't have two days!"

"Calm down, Naruto-kun. Now tell me what's wrong."

Neji decided to step in. "I'd suggest sitting down if I were you, because I doubt you'll believe what we're about to tell you."

Shizune sat down. "Okay, tell me."

**Meanwhile at the Nara household:**

"So how do you feel, Shikamaru-kun?" Sakura asked.

"Strange. This is so troublesome." He replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it after awhile." Sasuke reassured him. "As for the needle, it was the only way."

_Flashback to 10 minutes earlier:_

Shikamaru was sitting down in his room, playing a third round of Shogi with himself. He sighed. Life was so troublesome these days. Ever since the failed invasion of Konoha, his father had always been out, helping civilians rebuild their home and his mother was never around. Not that he cared anyway. He'd never liked the idea of working; much less on old buildings and he had no problem with his mother's absence. In fact, he liked it when the troublesome woman was away.

"I win again," he mumbled to no one in particular. It was no sooner that he said this when a figure darted into his room. Shikamaru jumped back and pulled out his kunai. He was surprised to see who it was.

"Sasuke? What's going on? What happened to you?" he asked.

"It's a long story." Sasuke said sounding rather bored. I'll explain everything once we do this."

"What? Who's we? Once you do wha-" Shikamaru was cut off by Sakura who quickly jabbed a short pointed needle into his neck.

"Ow!" Shikamaru turned around to see who had pricked him. He was shocked to find a green Sakura smirking back at him.

He turned back to face Sasuke.

"You bastard! What did you do to me?" he yelled.

"Taku, for a genius you sure ask a lot of stupid questions." The Uchiha replied.

"Grrr," Shikamaru felt like teaching Sasuke a thing or too, but he suddenly felt too weak to stand. He slumped onto his bed and after a few seconds,

He was out cold. Making sure it was safe; Sasuke walked over and flicked him on the cheek. Shikamaru didn't budge.

"See, Sasuke-kun? I told you the tranquilizing serum would work." Sakura said proudly.

"Good thing too. Now where's that lettuce leaf that Kakashi gave us?"

"Here you go." Sakura said handing him a bag containing a small leaf of lettuce.

"Thanks." Sasuke then stuffed the piece of lettuce down Shikamaru's throat and waited for it to take effect. "Mission accomplished"

_End of Flashback_

"God, you didn't have to prick me so hard though" Shikamaru whined.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's just get out of here." Sasuke replied. "We've got a lot of work to do and it's hard for me to say this, but...we need your help."

Shikamaru couldn't help but snicker when he heard the slight pause in Sasuke's sentence. _"So the great Uchiha needs my help. Oh well, it might give me something to do while the woman's away."_

"Fine, whatever. I'll meet you in the front."

"Why don't you just go through the window?" Sakura suggested.

Shikamaru thought about it for a moment. "Naah."

Sasuke and Sakura watched him stroll out the room.

"Are you sure he's-", Sakura asked, unconvinced.

"Yeah," The Uchiha nodded. "He's the only way."

* * *

**Vocab:** Not much in this chapter. 

Taku: geez  
Mata ne: See you later

* * *

**A/N:** Lol, I guess it was pretty sinister to leave uys for like 5 months with no explanation. I bet you thought I had given up. Well I didn't so there! To keep the story interesting I'm going to slow down the amount of people that turn evil and focus the story more on Naruto and Neji and their soon hopeless battle to defeat the veggie nins! Well there's chapter 5. Don't forget to review! 


	6. Now What're We Going To Do?

**A/N:** This fanfic is not dead! I repeat, this fanfic is not dead! Wow, so much time has passed since I last updated. Stupid 11th grade. Well it's summer break now so I decided to continue my story. I love summer vacation!!

P.S: I'm not sure but I think Ton-Ton's a she. You can correct me if I'm wrong .

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto and I never will own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto is the creator and always will be. There, happy?

* * *

**Chapter 6: Now What're We Going To Do?**

"-And that's the story. Phew!" Naruto had to take a breather before regaining his composure.

"Wow, so that's why you panicking so much, huh?" Shizune said standing up.

Neji was the first to respond, "So you believe us?"

Shizune nodded her head, "If it were just Naruto-kun telling the story then I probably wouldn't have believed him, but since you're also here Neji-kun the story must be true. Besides, I've been in weirder situations than this."

"Well this feels bittersweet", Naruto mumbled, lowering his head. Upon noticing the young ninja's tone, Shizune tried to rephrase her words.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that Naruto-kun. It's just that you have a reputation for overreacting that's all," She said grinning.

"Oh well, I guess that's true, but in the end it doesn't matter. What matters is that you believe us." Naruto replied, a smile reappearing on his face.

Noticing where this could lead, Neji broke into the conversation, "C'mon now, since when were we The Brady Bunch? We have an important situation to deal with and we only have a short amount of time. Now does anyone have any ideas?"

"Poi Poi," Ton -Ton sadly shook her head.

Naruto lost in thought, placed his knuckle to his chin. Finally, he shrugged his shoulders, "Well, I give up. Let's face it, we're doomed."

"What? No way! The Naruto-kun I know would never give up so quickly," Shizune replied thoroughly shocked.

Neji nodded in agreement, "I have to agree with Shizune-san. It is highly unorthodox of you."

"Unortho-wha? Look, usually Kakashi-sensei is the one to come up with the plans and he's on _their_ side. Kuso! I never thought I'd have to fight my own teammates! What the heck are we supposed to do? Go green ourselves?" Frustrated, Naruto buried his face into his hands.

"Actually, Naruto-kun that's not a bad idea." Shizune said now smiling to herself.

"Did you come up with a plan, Shizune-san?" Neji asked.

Shizune nodded, "Probably. It's a good thing I haven't done anything strenuous during the week. Okay guys, just watch."

Shizune made a seal with her hand and shouted, "Henge!"

Before the two genin could say anything, they already had a feeling of what Shizune's plan was going to be, well at least Neji did; Naruto looked more dumbfounded than ever. It wasn't until the smoke dissipated that Naruto finally start to grasp what Shizune was thinking, "Oh, I get it. Your going to try to find out what they're up to through the art of deceit, or something like that. Wow! You're a genius, Shizune!" He remarked.

"Thank you, Naruto-kun. So what do you guys think?" Shizune asked grinning.

In those few seconds, Shizune's appearance had radically changed. Her skin had turned a light green and instead of brownish black, her hair had now taken on the color of forest green. Her eyes also now contained trademark green hue of those who had eaten the tainted veggies.

"Impressive, and you've got the whole appearance down from merely what we've told you, but there's just one problem." Neji sighed matter-of-factly.

"What? I already like vegetables and although I'm not nearly as strong as Tsunade she has given me enough tips over the years for me to know how to handle my chakra in a way that would allow it to greatly boost the strength I already have. Whew, that was a mouthful." Shizune replied, taking a seat in Tsunade's chair.

Neji shook his head calmly. "It's not that, it's just that the people we are dealing with are no longer who we think they are. It's like whatever was in the vegetables seeped into their brains. Hinata-sama's no longer a wimp and she apparently no longer has a problem hiding her true feelings for Naruto-

"What feelings?" Naruto interjected.

Neji once again shook his head and continued, "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, " He said glancing at Naruto, "Hinata-sama's no longer a wimp, Hiashi's a Taiyaki freak, and Hanabi's spoken more than five words.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said, taking on where Neji left off, "and Kakashi-sensei is wacko, Sasuke is a maniac, and I'm not sure about Sakura-chan but I know it can't be good!" Naruto said finishing the sentence.

"So in other words, what you boys are saying is that I shouldn't act like myself. I should act differently than how I usually am, correct?"

"Yes, so in short you should be hyperactive, irresponsible, and have a short temper. It wouldn't hurt to not think things through either. Kind of like, like," Neji turned his head to face the blonde-haired Ninja, Shizune and Ton-Ton following suit.

"H-Hey, why are you guys staring at me like that?" Naruto asked uncomfortably.

"Naruto-kun, I am in your hands." Shizune said as she bowed facing him.

"Huh? No way! Hey wait a minute, this isn't right!" Naruto said pounding his fist on the desk. "Just because-"

But before Naruto could say anything else, Neji gave him one of the coldest stares he had ever seen from him, "Look, I never thought I'd say this, but it's all up to you, Naruto. You have no idea what it's like to see an all-green Rock Lee, ugh, and I thought just the jumpsuit was traumatizing. If you don't teach Shizune-san to be more like you I swear you'll never have another peaceful night as long as you live. Wakatta na?"

Naruto sweatdropped, "W-Wakatta yo, Neji. Sheesh, unless you traumatize someone you're never in a good mood, huh? Fine, since it's all up to me I'll teach Shizune-san to be more like the great Uzumaki Naruto! By the time I'm done with her you won't know who's who!

_"I wonder if that's a good thing..."_ Neji thought to himself. "Eh, fine. Just get going, we don't have much time. I'll be in the hallway if you need me." He then walked out without saying another word.

_**5 Hours Later**_

"Oi, Neji you can come in now!" Naruto said bursting the door open. "Say, what were you doing for so long anyway?"

Neji replied calmly, "I was meditating."

"MEDITATING! HOW CAN YOU BE MEDITATING AT A TIME LIKE THIS?" Shizune shouted standing by the doorway.

"Wow, that was very OOC of you, Shizune-san." Neji said a little shocked.

"Thanks, Neji-kun!" she said making a V-sign.

"Wasn't it? Wasn't it?" Naruto said folding his arms proudly. "I make a pretty good sensei, don't you think?"

"Yeah, yeah let's just go." The Hyuuga said heading for the exit. Naruto and Shizune followed suit.

Our three heroes then headed for the bridge. Why the bridge you ask?

"Because it's the #1 hangout place in Konoha, next to the ramen shop of course." Naruto said confidently.

"Who are you talking to?" Neji asked.

Naruto quickly shoved his hands into his pockets, "No one."

"Well, this is my stop", Shizune said as they neared the bridge. "You guys wish me luck."

"Sure thing", Neji said, expressing no emotion whatsoever.

"Um, we wish you luck?" Naruto replied scratching his head.

"Atta' boy." and with that she took off.

**At the Bridge:**

"...And that's the plan. Any questions?" Shikamaru asked munching on a carrot.

Sakura raised her hand, "I have a question. How come you get to eat the last carrot?"

"Cuz' I'm the smart one. Now, does anyone have any questions related to the plan?"

Shizune jumped out from behind a tree, "I've got one! Um, can you repeat the plan?"

"Yes! Shizune-san's on our side!" Sakura shouted pumping her fists in the air.

Without warning, Hinata suddenly turned around and smacked Sakura upside her head, "OMG Sakura! For the last time will you please shut up?

Sheesh! You're worse than Naruto-kun!"

_"Wow, that girl's got an attitude. So, they really are different..."_, Shizune thought to herself. _"I just hope I have enough chakra to keep this up."_

"So it happened to you too, huh?" Sasuke asked grinning eerily.

_"God, that's a freaky smile. Wait, Sasuke's smiling? That's a first. I really hope I can pull this off."_

"You bet it did! I feel great! So what's the plan, huh?" asked Shizune, trying to act as hyperactive as she possible could.

"You're a bit jumpy aren't you?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yeah, yeah! See, I was eating some celery sticks this afternoon, right, and then I started to feel really hot all over,

and then I must've fainted cuz I when I woke up I was all green and then-

"You got captured by evil fairies?" Sakura interrupted.

"Wha-? No, I started feeling really hungry, but not for plain old food but-"

"Veggies?" Sakura suggested.

"Uh, yeah. So yeah, that's what happened!" Shizune took a deep breath and pleaded in her head _"Please buy it, please buy it..."_

Sakura once again disrupted the silence, "I like veggies too, but I don't like when they get stuck in my teeth cuz then I have a hard time getting it out and then I usually end up biting my tongue which-"

_THUD_

Sakura was out cold.

"What'd you do?" Shizune asked Hinata.

"I hit the nerve that's responsible for consciousness. With luck, she should be out for a few hours", the white-eyed Kunoichi replied indifferently.

Shizune then turned to Shikamaru, "Um, the plan? I'm getting old here!"

"You're already old!" Kakashi snickered.

"Shut up! I'm only a year older than you, Oyaji!" Shizune said making a comeback.

"Okay, okay whoever's older this is plan, Shizune. Hm, part of the plan was getting you to join us, but obviously that's already been taken care of." Shikamaru intelligently stated.

_"Yes! I'm fooling them. This might be easier than I thought. Wait till I tell Tsunade-sama!"_ Shizune thought proudly to herself. _"Come to think of it, Shikamaru's acting a little strange too."_

"Hey, wait. You're not lazy anymore?" she asked Shikamaru.

"Of course not. There's no time to be lazy when there's important work for us to do. Now quit interrupting me", he replied slightly agitated.

Shizune pretended to be pissed off, "Okay, okay. I get it, _professor_."

Shikamaru decided to ignore that last part and quickly got down to business, "Okay, once again here's the plan."

* * *

**Vocab:**

Henge no Jutsu (Henge): transformation jutsu  
Oyaji: old man

* * *

**A/N:** So yeah, that's the chapter. Sorry it took so long. Don't forget to leave reviews! 


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